Birthday Presence

Today is my birthday. I suppose that’s why I’ve been more reflective than usual. That, and the fact that I’ve been at the beach. I mean, how can you be near the ocean and not think deep thoughts, right?

Last night my husband and I sat on the balcony enjoying the cool spring evening and the sounds of the sea below us. The subject of my birthday came up and the fact that I am now fifty-five, and then, as though it had not been blatantly obvious until that moment, the stunning realization that sixty is only five years away came crashing down on me. I started to cry. Life seemed to be slipping through my fingers at an unbelievable rate.

This morning, I returned to the balcony for the last time before we packed up to head home. I watched dolphins feed close to the shore and listened to the sound of the waves crashing. A line of pelicans soared by just a few feet from where I leaned against the railing. The melancholy mood of the previous evening was gone and in its place thanksgiving swelled as I acknowledged these as gifts on my birthday.

Then, as they have done so often in the past week, my thoughts turned to a dear one just recently passed, and I wished she could be there with me. Memories of her have been constant companions since her death. We were the same age, and now she’s gone. Perhaps I was considering the wrong things. Could it be there were treasures I’d taken for granted?

The list of birthday gifts changed.

I drew breath today. I stood on my own two feet. I had food to eat, clothes to wear, and a roof over my head. I’d no sooner recognized these when a small voice pricked me with a consciousness that even these are a privilege. There are those to whom the most basic of necessities are denied. To be honest, I began to feel guilty that I’ve been given so much when some have so little.

I began to realize that if every blessing I’d counted so far were taken from me, there was only one thing that could sustain me in any and every situation. Even beyond the grave. A gift that satisfies the deepest longings of the human heart and is available to everyone.

“In Him was life, and that life was the light of men.” John 1:4

Today is my birthday, and I have been given the gift of knowing the God who loves me through His son Jesus. Because of this, I am able to experience a full life regardless of my circumstances because of His presence within me. This is my gift today and every day. And this, friends, is everything.